The Space

simplicity // 31
the Space

At the beginning of Lent I asked, 1) How will you make space?, 2) What are you moving towards?, and 3) How will you become more fully present as you go? I’d like, now, to reflect on space, movement and presence in turn... as we edge towards home. It’s not too late to create or embed a positive habit. In fact, now is an important time to make the most of this journey, so that you can finish well!

Lent is a space which opens out before us. It’s a longer, broader space we’ve entered willingly, and have committed to exploring. And it’s funny how – especially if we’re giving something up for the duration – such a space can seem so big.

And yet, within each day, many of us struggle to find space for the things that matter. How does that work? There is, in truth, plenty of space out there, daily, to explore. It’s just that most of us have filled it twice over, already, with appointments, entertainments, meetings and distractions.

“We always think that space should be doing something,” writes the poet and novelist Ben Okri in his brand new book, A Time for New Dreams. “Or that we should always do something within a space. If a space is not being used, isn’t being built up, we think of it as useless, or dead space. We also have this attitude to time,” he continues, “which is another form of space. And so we create a world of diminishing space.”

By quitting a habit for 40 days, or changing a routine, or relinquishing a luxury, or restricting your Internet intake – or whatever it is you have been trying - you will inevitably create space, however small, to explore. So be encouraged! The skill comes in using that space wisely - perhaps by resolving to fill it with nothing, for the time being - and allowing your self simply to be exposed to it, and touched by it. Slowly but surely, such a practice will become a good habit, one that becomes second nature. If you can finish Lent having changed one thing, you’ll have done well.

And it’s funny: as we make space on the outside of our life, a space seems to open up on the inside, too. Have you noticed? It becomes hard to see the join; that point at which our world is turned inside out.

“As within, so without,” goes the old saying. “And as without, so within.”


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action point:

How have you been getting on, ‘creating space’? One thing you could do today is simply to review your goal. What has worked well for you? Remember the exercise about looking for the blank spaces in between the appointments? Well, try to inhabit those again, today; and make the most of unexpected spaces that open up. A queue at the supermarket, for instance, does not have to be annoying, but gives you the chance to slow down, and breathe deeply, and count your blessings. Likewise a traffic jam! Or a tube delay... Notice how you feel – tense, irritated, impatient, perhaps – and allow yourself to relax into the space you have been offered.

If you’re really brave, you could cancel an appointment, or simply (and politely) say “no” to the offer of one today! But you need to be able, first, to see space as something that does not have to be filled to be useful.

Otherwise, find an ‘outside’ space and stay there a while, today, reflecting on how this physical space can help you to create some arms-wide-open space on the inside of your life. What are the benefits for you of creating some more space, today? And what is stopping you?


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rsvp:

“What limits me most is expectation. So often my expectations are too high that I feel let down and, after today's reading, realise now that they are in danger of "reducing my life". Take yesterday for example - I took the children to see the prolific display of bluebells in a nearby wood. Quickly I realised we were a bit early - the bluebells were coming but the dizzying display of last year was yet to arrive. I felt so disappointed that it could have ruined our outing. Thankfully the children's enjoyment of a new venue meant I suddenly saw the incredible, if less electrifying, carpet of wood anemones and dog violets. Not what I had sought but equally as satisfying and meaningful. And we can always go back in a week or two...” Kate

“We had our celebration yesterday - a combination of Mother’s Day and my mother’s birthday, a week late. My mother suffers in the late stages of Alzheimer’s Disease... Not wanting to bypass a celebration, even if it meant nothing to her, I was delighted that she was able to read her name: “Lorna”, written on the cake we made. She laughingly joined our singing ‘Happy Birthday’, not concerned with who the celebration was for. Who is my mother now? Sometimes I observe the ragged remains of the person who gave birth to me and brought me up, and wonder just where she is now. Sometimes I question why this should happen to anyone. But mostly I simply watch amazed: her personality, although gentled and dimmed, still shines - she is still who she‘s always been. She may not remember who I am, but still she hugs and holds me as though I were precious. This is still who she is: still daughter, still wife, still mother, not entirely “forgetful”; not entirely “naked”, but “trailing clouds of glory”. Sandra

“I would say that the big thing that encloses me is travelling for an hour each day to work in London. What's the sense in it, surely there's a way to work that is integrated more into my home community? Why work to earn more money simply to buy more luxuries? Isn't it time I thought more intelligently about how I fit into the world?” George


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May you have the space, today.
Go well!

Brian